My name is Sameer Rastogi and I follow Islam. My father is a Hindu and my mother a Muslim. As you can imagine, my life has been a series of confrontations with my own identity. I stand before you today to share my journey from a proud kid to a confused teenager, before finding self-acceptance as an adult. 

As a child, I always took pride in my inter-religious and tolerant heritage. I wore my diverse heritage as a medal of honor, and was the recipient of much love and affection from my fellow schoolmates. Religion, back then, was just a means of countless feasts and festivities all year long.

Things took a curious turn during my college days at IIT (The Indian Institute of Technology), when I chose to identify myself more with one faith over the other. Surprisingly, I felt observed in a manner that was unfamiliar to me. My peers, some of the brightest minds if our country from both communities, often felt the need to rectify the abnormality that they perceived within me. While one side regarded my personal choice as an act of felony and felt compelled to bring me back home, the other side questioned my intentions, ostracized me and suggested on multiple occasions that I consider changing my name. 

Even though I was able to remain indifferent to this noise, the change in attitude of some of my closest friends really hurt me. They now saw me in a different light and visibly distanced themselves. It seemed unfair that I was being evaluated neither on the basis of my behavior or character, nor on my actions or intentions, …rather it was a tag that others had chosen to label me with. But I refused to be defined by religion and therefore, decided to keep my faith private and concealed, spending years perfecting the art of leading two parallel lives.  

I had finally completed the transition from a child proud of his heritage to an insecure teenager who was unable to accept himself for who he really was.  

Three years ago, I was working on an oil rig where I shared a dormitory with five other colleagues. One night, as I retired to the dorm room to offer my daily prayer, as a ritual I ensured that the room was empty before I proceeded.  However, unlike other nights, I forgot to lock the door this time. In the middle of my prayer, my colleagues walked in on me. As I saw their confused faces, a shiver ran down my spine, and I froze. I felt exposed, as if my privacy had been violated.  My two parallel worlds had collided for the first time, exposing the side that I had kept concealed from everyone.  

I immediately felt judged and prepared myself mentally to go through the arduous routine of justifying my actions. From a lifetime of experiences, the possibility that I would not be probed never occurred to me. I was surprised when my colleagues, all of whom were blue-collared operators, went about their business as usual as if nothing had happened. Their indifference bothered me, and so I casually mentioned the incident during a conversation. I was met with the simplest of answers, “So what?”. The fact that my faith was of no significance to them was an epiphany for me.

This episode made me come out of my shell and be at ease in public. I realized that in my quest for external validation, I had overlooked the importance of self-acceptance and the peace that it brings. Moreover, accepting that there will always be people who may not agree with my choices is a crucial part of growing in the process.   

I would be lying if I said I no longer fear public scrutiny. But I have tried, ever since, to banish fear, for if I fear, I am not free. My journey for self-acceptance still has a long way to go. And another step forward is me, standing before you, accepting who I am. 

[672 words]

[Indian School of Business, Winter 2020 (Section B)]